Why is it so easy to forget the goodness of God except in the midst of trials? Then suddenly you try to constantly remind yourself of all the times God has provided for you before. Doesn't his word say to call on Him while He is near? Isaiah 55:6 "Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near." What does this really mean? To call on God while He is near? Isn't he always there? But isn't it in the midst of the trials that we feel He might be furthest away. When the fear the doubt and the anguish begins to take place?
No nothing is happening in my life right now to make me feel this way but Isaac gave me news recently that his job had to do lay offs in a different department and when he told me that my heart had immediately leaped into my throat. I was immediately reminded of when he was laid off before and how much trouble that was. How hard and stressful. Now we have a baby and even more responsibilities. All the what ifs and worries started coming to place and I immediately started praying to God for favor and peace. But why? Why did it take those feelings surfacing to bring on those prayers. Why did it take me becoming anguished and scared in order to seek out the face of God? And I began to do a little soul searching and that seems to be the way of it. I know that God is always there. I have a deep connection with him. But the only time I really take the time to dive deeper one on one into his goodness and presence is when I feel I need peace. But why? If his Peace is so much better when I'm in the midst of trials how much better would resting in the depths of his presence be when I am at peace in life. How amazing my life would be if I had that connection all the time. And I can have it! That is the thing He allows me the opportunity to come to him every single day. Why do I not take advantage? How much easier will those trials be when the time dos come? Oh how I miss just turning on worship music and delving into his presence.
So My goal, my mission is to every day truly delve into His presence more than I already am. To allow myself to just form a deeper connection and relationship with Him. To rest in His presence even when I don't feel like I need sanctuary. Even when life is good because it will just make it that much better.
Just a little food for thought.
Saturday, March 19, 2016
Monday, March 7, 2016
I feel like it's been a little too long since I've updated but of course first things first:
He is growing up so very fast. Very close to crawling but not quite there yet just very very close. He has also begun pulling himself up on the couch to the standing position and he loves it! He will just start laughing and smiling and getting so very excited!
We are doing well. I started a different regimine of essential oils for hormone balance and after just 28 days of using it things are definitely making a difference. My cycle was 28 days long and my period for two cycles in a row as just 5 days. For those o fyou who have followed my story from the beginning know this is unheard of for me. Normally my periods last anywhere between 9-13 days. The only time they have ever been only 5 days was during the cycles when I was doing fertility treatments. I also ovulated 8 days earlier than I normally do and my luteal phase was ALMOST long enough for conception but not quite. Longer than I've ever had it on my own at least. So I bought 3 months worth of the oils and will continue every day to working toward getting myself at a place where I can conceive.
Regardless of us getting pregnant again or not we would like to move forward with adoption or starting an adoption process within the next 2/3 years. I feel really good and at peace with this and Isaac does as well. I know during this time I have a lot to do. I want to pay off as much debt as possible so we can be even more financially sound for fees and just overall bringing another child into our lives. I want to put aside a nest egg as well so that we are able to still do fun things/vacation wise with a new little one(though we are not planning on adopting an infant. Most likely the child will be older. I want to do research on behavioral things that go along with adopting an older child and just all together I want to be as knowledgeable as possible.
That being said this is my life. I feel so blessed to watch my baby grow and still be able to get out of the house and work and enjoy my career. I wouldn't have it any other way.
He is growing up so very fast. Very close to crawling but not quite there yet just very very close. He has also begun pulling himself up on the couch to the standing position and he loves it! He will just start laughing and smiling and getting so very excited!
We are doing well. I started a different regimine of essential oils for hormone balance and after just 28 days of using it things are definitely making a difference. My cycle was 28 days long and my period for two cycles in a row as just 5 days. For those o fyou who have followed my story from the beginning know this is unheard of for me. Normally my periods last anywhere between 9-13 days. The only time they have ever been only 5 days was during the cycles when I was doing fertility treatments. I also ovulated 8 days earlier than I normally do and my luteal phase was ALMOST long enough for conception but not quite. Longer than I've ever had it on my own at least. So I bought 3 months worth of the oils and will continue every day to working toward getting myself at a place where I can conceive.
Regardless of us getting pregnant again or not we would like to move forward with adoption or starting an adoption process within the next 2/3 years. I feel really good and at peace with this and Isaac does as well. I know during this time I have a lot to do. I want to pay off as much debt as possible so we can be even more financially sound for fees and just overall bringing another child into our lives. I want to put aside a nest egg as well so that we are able to still do fun things/vacation wise with a new little one(though we are not planning on adopting an infant. Most likely the child will be older. I want to do research on behavioral things that go along with adopting an older child and just all together I want to be as knowledgeable as possible.
That being said this is my life. I feel so blessed to watch my baby grow and still be able to get out of the house and work and enjoy my career. I wouldn't have it any other way.
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