Probably the most important papers I have ever held in my life. We filled out all our adoption application tonight. Sending it in Monday.  It brings tears of joy to my eyes.  I'm so blessed and so excited to be going down this path with my best friend.  It's so encouraging to see how excited Isaac is with everything.  It's almost like we are pregnant together in a sense and it's an exciting and relieving experience.  Before when It was me trying to get pregnant I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders.  Now I feel so much peace and joy as we run at this as equal partners. It's beyond amazing.

Orientation

Last night was step on in our adoption process:  The orientation.

It was so nice to put a face to the names of the social workers that we will be partnering with in this process.  It also gave us so much information we didn't have before and gave us an opportunity to ask questions.

During this time they showed us a video about the children who are older who are awaiting adoption.  It just confirmed to us that we are on the right path.  Those kids no matter that they are older are still just kids.  One kids story in particular just hit home.  He was 16 and in the 16 years that he has been in foster care he has only celebrated 2 Birthdays and 4 Christmas with a family.  He stated that he really just wanted a family in order to have the emotional support that goes with it.  Another child  12 years old stated she wanted a family because she wanted to feel special.  That just made me want to take her in my arms and let her know you are special regardless of your situation.

The social workers reiterated that yes these children are older and they have some sort of trauma background.  But when it comes to it they are still children.  They need someone to love them for who they are and to help them heal.

It was just once again confirmation for us that we are on the right path.

Originally we thought that we would just stick with Pennsylvania.  However we found out this agency has access to the nationwide foster care network and if we choose to pay for the home study ourselves versus having the state pay for it we are able to adopt from out of state as well.  This is something we are seriously considering since this would allow any child who we be a good match for our family to be considered.

It's a lot to take in and a lot to think about but again we both feel we are on the right path and know that this is the direction we are supposed to go.  

Registered

Over the last few weeks Isaac and I have felt more and more that we are ready to pursue adoption this year.  We weren't sure how we were going to feel as time went on and were thinking we would need to wait until after the orientation to move forward but when we sat down and went over all the papers and class schedules we realized that if we where going to do it this year that we wanted to sign up sooner rather than later.  Especially since a few of the required classes that we could attend are limited.

I reached out to the agency and asked if they would be willing to make an exception for us on registering for the classes before orientation and to my surprise they did.  We are now signed up for everything, have a sitter lined up for Ezekiel and overall are ready to move forward.  As long as everything works out as we have planned we will have all of the classes done by the end of August and after that all we have left to do is the 5 home study/evaluation classes, which we hope to have done soon after.  Our goal would be to start the matching process by Christmas at the latest. 

We both feel really good about this decision.  It's amazing how God has been working this in our hearts for so long that now that the time has finally come to move forward we are ready to spring into action.

My heart is excited for this change and anxious at the same time.  I want to continue to be the best mother I can be to Ezekiel while also being there 100% for whatever child/children join our home.  This is definitely a new adventure and one that I know is going to be full of its own kind of ups and downs.

This is not to say that I am healed and over the pain of our loss.  I certainly am not.  But that doesn't mean that I can not move forward in the vision and calling that God has placed on our family.  And I plan to do just that.  


God I ask that you would prepare our hearts to receive the knowledge that you will impart to us through these classes.  I ask that you would give us all the tools we need to be supportive and help bring healing to the children that come to us.  I ask for wisdom for the social workers as they go through the matching process with us.  I ask for discernment as we face decisions we have never had to face before.  I ask that you open all doors you want open and close those you want closed.  We thank you for it Lord  ~Amen