Deep Breaths

So far no ill effects from starting Metformin, though I've only been taking it now for 5 full days.  But I have to say I'm getting to a point of a lull.  I don't know any other way to explain it.  I'm so frustrated.  I'm so ready to be a Mom.  I want to experience the actual wonderful gift of being pregnant. 

We always said we will adopt if I don't get pregnant and we will.  Well shoot we actually plan on adopting even if we do have our own.  We want to adopt at least two.  But now that we are nearing the points where we will have to make plans if I don't conceive in the next few months and my mind is just racing with the what if's and maybes. 

God give me strength.  I want a baby and I want one soon!  I want to be pregnant by January.  If we aren't by the end of February we actually plan on making an appointment with a fertility specialist.  Just one step at a time.  I keep trying to remind myself that but it's not always easy.  I have peace which is great but not enough anymore. 

I don't know I'm rambling now so I'm gonna end this. 

Taking steps forward

So finally got the results back on my pcos test.  My Dr said everything is consistent with pcos so today I started 500 mg of Metformin that I will take two times a day for just 10 days then we will bump it up to 750 mg 2x a day.  I'm hoping that things will move forward rather quickly.  On top of trying to get pregnant I'm also trying to loose weight and it hasn't really been going well.  I've been exercising every day, eating super healthy*under 1500 calories every day** and this being fruits, veggies ect.  and I haven't lost a single pound.  There isn't a ton of straightforward information on pcos.  But my Dr. said that if I am not pregnant by my appointment next month she will want to do another test to see how my body is reacting to the medication....so maybe that means I actually do have a shot at getting pregnant soon!  But I also will need to stay on it it seems.  Especially if I want to continue to be able to loose weight even after I have a baby. I'm so relieved and so excited to be able to take steps in the right direction.  I feel like I'm finally moving forward.  I feel like this is the right direction and I have complete peace.  So far*I know it's only the first day** but zero side effects.

I'm just super ready to begin.  I feel like I have been at a stand still in everything.  Emotionally, I still have good days and bad days but its been more good then anything.  I also have to say I have a very nice sense of peace.  I have for a few weeks now but I'm getting a little more antsy every day.  I want a family.  I want to make my husband a father.  I want to be a mommy.  I'm so excited for what the future has in store and I will just trust and believe day by day things will work out.  Just one step at a time.