Cycle Day 12 Ultra sound: Round 2 of treatment

So I was really setting myself up for bad news today.  I have been spotting and having cramps for the past three days.  And I feel like my ovaries are swollen so I was thinking I had a cyst.  But nope good news!  I went in today and she found 4 follicles! 

Three on the right measuring 18,13 and 10 ml and one on the left measuring 11ml.  So I will be triggering on Friday.  She said the 18 is already ready and if we wait till Friday to trigger the 13 will be big enough and definitely release and egg as well.  So out of the 4 I will have at least two eggs released!  I've always wanted twins and of course would be thrilled with at least just one healthy baby.    Just the fact that the timing is working out perfect is awesome.  I will be leaving for vacation on Monday following ovulation so that will give me time to just relax and be distracted during most of the two week wait.

I do have to say though that if for some reason God does not deem it time for me to get pregnant that the blow will be even harder since I will have at least two eggs released so that means I will have a bigger chance to get pregnant. 

BUT I will not let myself think negatively now.  I will try to stay positive and focus on the good.  God is in control and just the fact I have reached this step is amazing.

I will however be honest......I'm praying for twins. 

I wish I knew if it was working

I have my cycle Day 12 testing in just a few days.  I really can not tell if its working or not.  My temps have stayed high compared to where they use to drop before ovulation and Ive been having slight spotting today and ovulation cramps.  But I really don't know if this is a good thing or not.  I do know that whenever I have had any type of medication that lowered my estrogen levels I spotted so maybe the Femara lowered it enough that my body is working.  But then the what ifs come to mind of course on what if it isn't working and that is why my temperatures don't drop.  Or what about the cramps and spotting, did I develop a cyst? 

If it doesn't work then what?  Do we try clomid?  If I'm a monster on Femara and that's suppose to have less side effects watch out world.  That will be so scary. 


But one week till vacation.  And I think that will be perfect timing since I will just be heading to the beach for vacation.

Either way I find out in two days. 

I feel like a monster!

I either always feel angry or like  I want to cry.  I can't seem to find a happy medium.  Its so frustrating that I have to put myself into a place like this in order to get my body to work properly.  I think I felt better when I was exercising.  But I've been so exhausted that it's been so hard to get myself to actually get moving.  But I'm going to have to force myself.  I think I'll feel better. 

I just am so tired of feeling angry or sad all the time.  Of constantly feeling like I am not able to have that joy I use to have.  I just want so badly to be my positive optimistic self.  I use to look at the glass as half full now I don't even see it is half empty I see it as just plain empty.  In one week I will be heading to Myrtle Beach and plan on just taking the time to relax and try to recuperate. 

Yesterday I took my last dose of the Femara.  I can feel it definitely working differently than last month.  My ovaries feel swollen and I've been having massive ovary twinges.  But they've all been on my right side and I got the follicle on my left side last month.  Either way I find out on Wednesday.  I will be going in for the cycle day 12 ultrasound to see how many follicles I got and how long they are. 

Let Round Two Begin

So today begins round two of my treatment cycle.  The Pharmacy got everything taken care of with giving me my correct medication.  Actually they didn't charge me since they said it was their mistake so that was a blessing.  Though really it could have been really bad if I had not caught the mistake.

I am going to go back to the minimal processed food, try to drink only water and exercise more.  I do not want to let it kick my butt as much as it did last cycle.  I was so  tired all the time.  But I'm going to try and push through it.

So I just pray that this higher dosage will give me better results.  I go in on Wednesday July 30th for my cycle day 12 ultrasound and blood work.  I hope I get the same ultra sound tech so I can know before waiting for the Dr to have to call me to let me know how everything is going.  But we shall see....either way I will know soon. 

We are go for round 2

I went in this morning for my cycle day 2 blood draw and ultra sound to check and see if I would be able to start a new round of treatment right away.  Thankfully everything was a go.  I had no cysts and my estrogen was low enough for me to get treatment. 

So she is going to put me on a higher dose of Femara this cycle and then after Ovulation I will be doing a double dosage of the progesterone to try and hold off any spotting until my period is ready to come or I become pregnant. 

So after I got the call from the Dr's office saying that they were going to call in my prescription I went to pick it up on my way home from work after the Drs office was already closed.  Well I got home and looked at the bottle the pharmacy gave me and its Provera instead of Femara.  Same dosage and rules as the Femara but its the wrong medication.  So I called the pharmacist and they said they can't change it until they talk to the Dr because they Drs office had called it in and left a message on the voicemail but it was deleted after they listened so they can't recheck but its possible the person listening to the message mistook femara for provera since they sound so close.

So I called the nurses hotline to let them know the wrong medication was given to me and asked them to please call and specify what I actually need since they will not change it without a new script.

On another note I got this email from a friend today:
I wanted to write to tell you something that I understand may be upsetting. I'm pregnant. I wanted to tell before too long goes by, but also wanted to tell you before we're all together in a large group. I understand this can be frustrating and I don't mean to make your situation any harder on you. I will try my best to be sensitive to you and your situation. If you ever feel uncomfortable or frustrated around me, just tell me. 

I responded with: Aww(name) Thank you for including me.  I'm excited for you!  This struggle is hard but it's so amazing to see people I love get blessed in life and children are the most wonderful blessing of all.  And you deserve all the blessings since you two are wonderful Godly people who will raise those kids up to be amazing.  Never feel bad about rejoicing in front of me and please don't feel you have to walk on eggshells.  Ill be fine I promise.  I'm excited God's opened this door for you. 

I really feel this way.  I'm so excited she will be having a baby.  As much as I would love to be the one sharing the news knowing someone I love who is already such an amazing Mom and person and will do just as well with 2 is a blessing.  I may not be getting my bundle of joy yet and it may be years before God sees fit to allow me to experience the joys of pregnancy but it doesn't mean my current journey is any less important or meaningful.  I just have to find the meaning in life every day.

I can say people who know someone is struggling with infertility don't really know how to act around you.  They love you so they want to be sensitive but they aren't sure how far that goes.  They want to rejoice in their own happiness without disturbing yours.  It's so sweet of them but I feel like I can be stealing their joy just by being there sometimes.  So I want to show my support.  Just because I'm struggling doesn't mean I can't be happy for someone else.  Though some days I will be sad and cry I will move on after and grow from it. 

I just want to take advantage of every day and every opportunity as an opportunity to learn.  It's not going to be easy and sometimes I'm going to have to really look hard to try and find that silver lining.  But I'll find it.  With God's help. 

Round 1 of treatment officially ended

So I am officially calling it.  I started my period today.  I called the Dr's office and left a message to set up my cycle day 2 testing tomorrow.  As of right now I feel okay.  I'm not angry or sad at all.  I think cause I knew it was coming.  But I did ask them to talk to my Dr and see if we could put me on a higher dose of the progesterone and the Femara.  So now I'm just waiting for the call back to know what time to go in tomorrow. 

I'm just praying my estrogen levels are not too high to do the treatment and that since I did have a normal Luteal Phase for eh first time in my life maybe I will actually have a shorter period too.

So for now I just wait for the Dr to call. 

On another note I decided its time for a change.  I'm a hair dresser and I have not colored my hair for almost two years so I am back to "virgin hair".  Well the reason I wasn't doing all the other colors I've been wanting to do mainly was just because if I did get pregnant I wouldn't want to color my hair.  But I've been itching for a change so I decided to go ahead and do something exciting and different that I've wanted for months!  So this morning I bleached out the bottom half of my hair and my bangs and on Monday I will be doing a dark blue to aqua fade on the bleached out hair.  I'm super excited.  So hey at least I have something to keep me smiling right now. 

And now we just have 2 weeks before we go to Myrtle Beach!  I'm so excited to get away and escape from it all.  And the timing of my period coming is actually falling into perfection since we will be able to get everything done before Myrtle Beach. 

So Refreshing

This chapter really spoke to me today.  I think because of how emotional I've been and this struggle in general is just so incredibly hard:

Isaiah 55:8-13
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
⁹ “For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.

¹⁰ “For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
And do not return there,
But water the earth,
And make it bring forth and bud,
That it may give seed to the sower
And bread to the eater,
¹¹ So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.

¹² “For you shall go out with joy,
And be led out with peace;
The mountains and the hills
Shall break forth into singing before you,
And all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
¹³ Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress tree,
And instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree;
And it shall be to the Lord for a name,
For an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.”

I know I have had this in my past posts as well.  But those last two verses I have underlined just speak so much truth.  I can have the joy of the Lord no matter what situation or circumstance tries to come against me.  Any trial or obstacle that tries to come against me has no hold and it shall break apart and allow me to walk through.  I think its interesting that in the Bible God mainly speaks to us in parables.  Why is that?  Is it because in our human minds we are so restricted by the laws of physics and what is "normal" that it is hard for us to actually understand the fullness of His Mercy and the fullness of His goodness.  It would be impossible to understand God simply speaking the world into existence...yet it happened.  I was reminded today of Abraham and Sarah.  God had promised them a wife even in their old age.  Sarah had laughed when God told her she would have a son because she was way past due in her physical form of having a child.  But yet it happened.  God blew the physical scientific boundaries.  Something He seems to love doing since we serve a God of miracles. 

My God is greater than anything that would try and come against me.  He is greater than this mountain of infertility.  He is greater than it all.  So all I want to do it trust in Him.  Rely on Him and rest in Him.   And allow Him to blow apart the boundaries I put on myself. 

So whats going on with me?  Well I woke up this morning to another huge temperature drop yet my spotting has lightened and is  almost non existent not gone completely just very light.  But I'm really not fooled.  I think the progesterone is just strong enough to keep it at bay for now.  I go in on Sunday to take the blood pregnancy test as long as the red devil doesn't show up before then.  I kind of hope if it is coming that it will come today or tomorrow that way I can do my cycle day 2/3 blood work on my day off.  Either way I know its out of my control no matter how much I hate that idea.  

Explosion of Emotion

Last night before I had gone to bed I was so sure my period was going to show up.  Right before bed I had bright red spotting when I wiped so I went to bed expecting my period by the morning.  But I woke up and nothing except the same dark brown and occasional pink/red sporadic spotting.  So I know my period has to be on it's way.

But Oh today was NOT pretty.  I have been such an emotional wreck all day.  At work I was just emotional.....yet I work with the public so I have to put on a happy face.  My boss who I love dearly(and no that isn't sarcasm) knows about everything I've been going through.  She has shown me so much support and is just constantly there to listen if I need her to.  She has two children on her own and has told me she is saving all her baby things for us for when the time comes.  She's just all around awesome.  Well it all started when she pulled me aside and said "Are you pregnant?  You just don't seem like yourself today somethings off."  Well I just started crying and told her I started my period today(since I was pretty positive it would start and still right this moment I still do by the end of the night-with all the cramps I'm having and the spotting throughout the past few days I don't think any other option is available.)  I then was suppose to be going on my lunch break so I decided to go to go to Target to keep myself busy since I had tried to sit down and eat and I just kept tearing up and crying.  So I go to get dog food for my dog I'm in line and the woman in front of me turns around and boom(big pregnant belly-though you couldn't tell at all from the back).  Yeah I lost it.  I started crying right there in the line at Target.  I actually had to cover my face and pretend I needed to sneeze and was trying to keep it at bay to try and collect myself. 

So then I got home and tried to tell Isaac about how emotional the day was and I just couldn't get the words out all I could do was cry.  I just want to cry my eyes out right now.

I told him I'm broken and he kept saying your not broken.  I know he was trying to be supportive but only women going through this will understand that feeling.  You know you are broken.  You know that no matter what even if medication can make you "work" you know its not you.  If you stop that medication your body will go right back to it's rebellious state where it fights against you in everything. 

In just two weeks we will hit the two year mark of trying to start a family.  In these two years we have never even had one single positive.  Not even a little grasp. 

When my period comes I will press on.  I will call and set up that cycle day 2/3 appointment I will go in and let them poke around in me yet again.  Sometimes I feel like a lab rat being examined under a microscope with scientists trying to figure out how to send me down the correct hallway of a maze. 

I really hope I feel better tomorrow.  I had to listen to the song from yesterday's post again for myself.  I just have a hard time letting it go but I know I need to. 

I just say a silent prayer I do better tomorrow. 

I'll know soon

So yesterday on the way home from Nagara Falls with my sister we were driving through beautiful countryside.  It was absolutely breathtaking.  I decided to throw on some worship music and just worship my wonderful creator.  When this song: "Be lifted High" by Elevation Worship came on the lyrics just took me away.

Through every trial every hardship He is great and amazing.  He is always there.  In every victory and every trial my soul should sing His glory for He is still the same yesterday today and forever.  So I went on you tube and found a great live video of the song just listen to the words and the beauty that's there.

No matter what hardships come my way my Lord will forever be lifted high.  He will be praised forever.  I will be able to pour out my worship to Him.  I can not read the future but I have to optimistic in knowing that whatever happens it will be His will.  I want to lay down my life, lay down my own desires.  We have prayed over and over again that if this is not God's will for him to shut the door.  Well I will say it again Lord not my will but yours be done.  But bring us that victory you promised us soon.  I'm not sure how much longer we can handle what we currently have going on right now. 

That being said I'm having cramps today and I feel like someone is sitting on my stomach just with pressure.  It kind of feels like gas but I know its not.  I'm still spotting a little bit but its all dark brown and mixed with cervical mucus.  So I know that one way or the other in the next few days I will either get my period or I will stop the spotting and get a positive test.

I'm trying to stay realistic though.  Anytime in the past when I spotted like this it always ended in another failed cycle....So even though I know that this month we actually stood a chance to get pregnant it's hard to pull away from that feeling. 

Lord Help me to be okay with whatever you bring to us.  Help me to rejoice and sing your praise despite what answer comes my way.  It's not going to be easy if it's another failed month.  But I know You are greater than anything that would try to come against me.  I thank you and praise you Lord. ~Amen

Here is a picture of my sister and I in Niagara Falls...It was beautiful. 

Please don't let my period be coming!

So today I am only 10 days  past ovulation.  All day yesterday I was having slight cramps and twinges then this morning when I woke up I had a huge temperature drop and some extremely light spotting.  I'm praying so badly that this does not mean that my period is already on its way.  Even with the progesterone it will have only made it 10 days.  I'm hoping and praying that it jumps back up tomorrow. 

We were traveling to Niagara falls yesterday but it really shouldn't have messed with my cycle too much since it was just a 4 hour drive and didn't really  involve anything more than what ti would be like if I drove to visit my in-laws 4 hours away and that has never effected my temperatures.  So I guess I just have to wait and see what tomorrow holds.

So far no more spotting but I am still having cramps so I'm assuming my period is coming.  On the bright side if my period does come we will know:
A) we need a stronger dose of Femara
B) maybe a stronger dose of Progesterone too
C) We will get to do another cycle before vacation in August*we didn't know if we would start the next cycle early enough to get Cycle day 12 Ultra sound and blood work done beforehand.

Lord I know you already see the future so I just ask for the grace to accept what is coming. 

I'm where I have never been before

You hear a baby screaming, some people roll there eyes.  Others make comments on if noly the parents could get them to shut up.  Inside you ache.  You ache because all you want is to take up that little one and hold them close and be able to sooth them.  A commercial comes on tv showing sleep deprived parents who are so lost on what to do with their screaming child.....

But you would do anything to have that kind of cry or scream in your home no matter how frustrating it might be to others.   All you want to do is be in that situation.  To hold those screaming children close and soothe them yourself.

When you hear others complain about their kids, their pregnancy or the frustrations that come with it you know that you would do anything to be in their place.  All you want is to so badly be able to be there.

I've started having some slight fears.  I'm now 7 days past ovulation, a point I have never made.  I normally only have a 3 day luteal phase, the longest I've ever had was 5 days but even then I was spotting on days 4 and 5.  So I'm starting to get nervous....what if my period tries to come.  What if the medication doesn't hold off my period.  I don't think it helped that my temperature had a slight drop today.  But I also know that God has not given me the spirit of fear:  For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7  I also know I have to trust that the Dr's know what they are doing.  I've been having slight cramps this morning.  And yesterday I was having ovary twinges again.  So this probably isn't helping the scary thoughts from entering.  

But I guess I need to take the small victories as they come.  At least I have made it to 7 days past ovulation.  At least I have gotten somewhere I have never gotten before so far.   I am so excited that I have gotten to this point and I will continue to think positively and every day will be a newer bigger victory. 

My sister is getting into town tonight so I will have a blast hanging out with her and it will make the two week wait go by quickly.   

Here is my chart for today so far: 

The waterfall of Emotions

This morning I woke up and knew I needed some deep meditation today.  I can't allow myself to feel today like I felt all day yesterday.  Every person I saw who smiled, every laugh and every story were like nails on a chalk board to me.  But I don't know why.  I'm not miserable.  In my own life I'm excited about possibly having a chance this month.  My sister comes into town in just 2 days and I have time off to spend with her.  I have a lot to be happy about.  So what is it?  Whatever it is it's not okay.

It's so easy when on this journey to let just one little thing trickle into something bigger.  Almost like a single rain drop falling into a stream whether you notice the immediate change or not adds more water.  So so many little things that work together can seem to work against you.

I don't want to allow emotions to control me or control how I react.  Emotions are just that: feelings.  It doesn't mean I can not feel them.  In fact I don't think anyone can actually control the way they feel, only how they react to the feeling.  I think we can push it aside and ignore the feelings we are uncomfortable with or unhappy with.  But either way it doesn't make them disappear.

Yesterday and today I took home pregnancy tests.  I learned that you can actually test every day and watch the trigger disappear from your system so that when the time comes to actually test you know if you have a legit positive or not. So both days I have a extremely tiny line in the positive but it doesn't show up till the test is past the time frame and it looks like and evaporation line.  So I'll test one more time tomorrow and if its still just as light I'll know that come around the 21st I'll be able to do an actual pregnancy test and get accurate results.  Which makes me happy since I would rather know then have it confirmed than question it. 

God open my eyes to know when I'm just being ridiculous with my emotions.  Help me in everything that I do to reflect how you would act in that situation.  I know that with this entire journey it gets so hard to be that reflection.  You feel worn down from emotions angry at the injustice and even angry at God for putting you through this.  I want to badly to light the way to others in His direction.  I keep thinking of Psalm 23.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

² He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
³ He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
⁵ Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

I know I've talked about the relevance of each of those verses in past posts but sometimes you need to hear things again.  He leads me beside still waters.  He will restore my soul.  When I feel like I just can not take it anymore(which I often do).  He takes me through the valley where every trial imaginable can be yet He leads me through it.  I don't have to be afraid.  No door that He has opened can be closed.  

I just need to meditate on this.  

Holy Mother of Mood Swings

So I felt some huge mood swings when I first started the thyroid medication and then things just evened themselves out.  Well they are back in full force.  I'm guessing from the progesterone supplements.  I just felt angry all day. 

It can be just the littlest things to get me going.  I was pulling into the work parking lot and was pulling into a spot only to discover that another car parked over the line so I wasn't going to be able to use the spot.  So I had to find a different one.  Something so stupid but man did it start the day off on a bad note.  From then on every little thing was like nails on a chalkboard.  I work with the public I have to talk and dote on my clients the entire tiem they are in the chair, but all I wanted to do for most of them today was tell them to shut up!  And that is definitely not me. 

I was just so aggravated at work.  But I knew I was being ridiculous but I still couldn't help it.  I'm praying so badly that I will get adjusted to this and not feel this way the entire time I'm on it.   If I am pregnant the Dr wants me on the progesterone for a full 3 months after.  So if I feel like this with just the progesterone man the pregnancy hormones added to that will be awful! 

It's so easy to allow my emotions to control me.  Help me Lord to keep myself together.  I want your joy.  I want your peace.  I want to be able to help the people in my life and who I come into contact with every day and love them like you would.  I want to help them succeed.  Help me Lord.  I can not do this on my own.  I'm so miserable and cranky.  I'm feeling worn out.  I've begun thinking the what ifs I'm not pregnant and I have to go through all this again.  What if's are so awful and all I want is to live my life to full enjoyment.  Help me to follow your leading.  You will open up the doors for me to walk through that you desire.  I thank you and praise you for it Lord.  ~Amen

What Ifs

What ifs.....Oh how I hate the what ifs.  Part of me wants so badly to pull back out that blanket I had started knitting and begin working on it again.  But then the what ifs begin to come to mind.  I remember how it had begun to feel like a burden instead of a release.  It had begun to feel as a constant reminder that I was not having a baby.  That once again things failed. 

But for now I have peace and hope.  I am so incredibly excited for the possibility of holding a baby in my arms in just 40 weeks.  But then I remember the constant devastation that had taken place in the past.  What ifs begin to surface.  What if though everything was timed just right we still don't get pregnant.  After all it takes people months to be able to get pregnant even when they do have treatment cycles. 

But then I argue the logic that if God opened this door for us would He really just open it only to close the door in our faces?  But I know His will is going to be done either way.  And if I do not get pregnant this cycle....like every other cycle I will simply pick myself up and continue on my way.  I will go forward because I must go forward. 

So I'm not sure what will take place in the future but I do know that I'm excited and nervous all at the same time.  Now to stay busy for the next few weeks until I can test. 

Looks like I have a chance!

So looks like I ovulated!  Hurray!  I'm so excited and relieved at the same time since I was worried if I had to start the progesterone first before I was able to see the ovulation jump myself I wouldn't know for sure if I ovulated!  But looks like i did. 

I have a lot of peace and am so excited to see what happens at the end of this two week wait.  But then again that is how I feel today.  Not sure I will feel the same tomorrow.  I do have to say I am really lucky that my sister will becoming into town during this first week it will help things go by so much faster. 

As of now I am so excited I can't even think of the what ifs I'm not pregnant.  The very fact that I ovulated at a normal time for the first time in my life just astounds me.

So all in all Id say I'm just feeling really excited and happy.  I haven't really had any side effects of the trigger shot except being really tired but I can't really say if that's just from how busy I've been or the medication. 

I will take it.

So for now I'll say goodnight and I hope to have good news soon!

Triggering Today

So tonight I will be giving myself the trigger shot.  But my body has continued to show its own signs of ovulation so I'm believing that my little egg did actually continue to grow. So I'm really really excited yet slightly nervous at the same time.  I am trying to stay positive and optimistic yet realistic at the same time.  If I do get pregnant this month I will be overjoyed!  But I'm trying to not allow myself to think about that too much.

Today I looked back on some of my old posts and realize how much it has taken for us to finally get to this point.  So many roadblocks.  So many different emotions and frustrations.  I am so blessed to be here today.  I know that tomorrow I may feel discouraged or defeated but for today I will dance in victory.  I will dance knowing that:
1)I will actually have a normal Luteal Phase for the first time in my life
2) I most likely have an egg that will be released in optimal timing.
3)I only have to wait 2.5 weeks to know if it worked.  

Wow just thinking of that last one makes my heart leap to my throat in anticipation.  Part of me is scared but mostly just so excited.

I'm hoping I don't have a ton of side effects from the trigger shot.  I didn't have much with the Femara so maybe that's a good thing.

This morning we had our first "timed intercourse".  It was actually so awkward with all of my visitors in the house.  But we figured out a way to be sneaky...at least I hope we did.  I didn't get any strange looks at the breakfast table so I'm thinking it worked hahaha.  So we actually got up at 5:30 this morning to do it while everyone was sleeping....at least everyone should have still been sleeping.  And we will do the same thing again tomorrow morning.  

I hope these next few weeks fly by though my sister comes into town next weekend to visit so I have a lot to look forward to in my "2 week wait".

So keep your fingers crossed for me readers!

Feeling Hopeful

So tomorrow I will be taking my trigger shot.  I'm thinking that the medication did kick in and things are moving forward as they should.  I'm actually feeling hopeful.  I have confidence that things will be working out as they were suppose to.  I actually started having signs of ovulation on my own today.   Though still very negative Ovulation tests, but apparently that's pretty normal with the Femara. 

So the trigger will just make sure it all happens together.  I'm super excited!