My heart is full but has grown to make room

It's been a while.  And not because I haven't had much to write about or no tulmit of emotions to deal with.  My heart is still at peace on where we are.  I would like to get pregnant again if possible but I'm okay with not getting pregnant again.  Either way I want to continue on with the adoption.  My heart still cries out to take in foster children.  I want to love all those babies who have no one to love them.  I want to love those who don't have people to love them.  I want to take others in who have no one to love them.

I feel like a major part of that stems from my own background.  My biological mom lost custody of me due to drugs and alcohol and my step Mom is the one who raised me as her own.  She loved me despite all the trouble I gave her.  I am a living example of what unconditional love can do for someone who doesn't know what it looks like.  And I want to be able to give that love to others.

I find myself browsing the adoption websites where my heart just explodes at the smiling needy faces on them.  All I want to do is kiss them and hug them and give them all the love possible!  I want so badly to be able to love on them like Jesus would.

My heart is full yes, but at the same time I feel like my heart has gotten bigger and so has even more room to let others into our family.  I know that when the time is right God will lead Isaac and I down that path.  I am excited for where things are going and what God has in store for us. 

I am reminded of years ago when God spoke to my heart about what His view of success is compared to what we think it is.  I saw a vision of a huge sky scraper building with marble floors and pillars and huge fountains.  I looked around heard God speak to my heart that this is how man views success but this is how I view it:  Then I saw a little shack on a hill I went inside and the homeless where being fed, prostitutes being loved despite how others judge them.  Children being cared for who have no one to love them.  This is the way I want my life to pan out.  I want to look back and see God's definition of success at work in my life.  I want to calm my heart enough to enjoy the journey as we move forward that way too.  I will not allow my restlessness to choke out the joy of now.

Dear heavenly Father, The cry of my heart is that you would lead and guide us into the direction you would have us to go.  I ask that you would cause things to fall into place at the right time that you would like it to.  God I speak peace and direction into our lives.  There are certain children out there that you have for us to take in.  I thank you that you will guide and lead us to them Jesus.  In your holy name ~Amen


Ezekiel is doing well.  I can't believe he is already a little over 7.5 months old.  He is just so full of joy and happiness and makes my heart sing.  He still isn't showing any interest in crawling which I am 100% okay with.  The longer he waits the longer I have to baby proof.  But he has decided to though that he can scoot on his butt to get around.  He can't do it very fast but at least he's excited when he gets to move.