We have had an insanely busy month this past month.  My period came and went so no pregnancy.  That however turned out to be a blessing in disguise as I ate something(Blackrasberry icecream) and found out I am allergic to it.  Broke out in hives, dealt with a little throat swelling and just overall horrible experience.  Had to go on steroids in order to finally clear up and that in and of itself was a nightmare.  I hate the way they made me feel.  So our trying to get pregnant is on hold now then for a few months since if we were to get pregnant this month we'd have another baby born in June, I'd be flying down to Louisiana pregnant and a lot more de ja vu then I want to have.  We wont prevent obviously but I"m going to take a break from the ovulation tests timed sex ect;  Play by the old rule if it happens it happens. 

Ezekiel is growing like a weed and its amazing to see his character come out.  He is the sweetest little boy in the world; he is full of love, hugs and kisses for us.  He really just melts my heart.  Today I took him to a Play area in a local mall and just watched him run around and play and it struck me that two years ago I really didn't think I would ever be able to be here.  I really wondered and questioned if we would in fact get pregnant.  Yes I had the promises of God there and I was holding onto those but the doubts plagued me daily.  And as I watched him today I was overcome with gratitude.  Gratitude that God gave me an amazing son that is running around playing at toys turning around to smile at me and make sure I'm watching.  And in that moment I truly realize how blessed I am.  Yes I have known, and continue to know every single day but feel even more grateful then before. 

I daily want to seek out new adventures with him.  Let him explore and discover the world with me by his side to protect him while I can because one day sooner than I'd like he will spread his wings and not need me quite as much.  Isaac made a joke the other day on only 15 more years till he can drive and my immediate response was Oh my gosh that's so soon!!!   He just laughed at me but that's truly how I feel I feel like it all flies by so fast and that in a blink of an eye it will be gone.  So I want to cherish every single moment of it.  Cherish every second.

In two weeks we will be flying to visit my best friend and her new little one.  I'm both nervous and excited about traveling with Ezekiel by myself.  Thankfully he's such a chill baby I really do not foresee any issues but you never know.  I'm just hoping with everything being so new he'll want to just stay by me and look around versus run around all over exploring.  So we shall see how that goes.