Ready to get this show on the road

So I am now officially less than one month away from my endocrinologist visit.  I am so incredibly ready to get this show on the road.  But a part of me wonders...will getting my thyroid fixed actually help me get pregnant?  What if there is a bigger picture there.  What if its not enough.  But we can't life our lives based on what ifs can we?

I quit taking the vitex two weeks ago (my Dr's didn't know anything about it and are not sure that I will be able to take it when on Synthroid so suggested I stop now) and since then my hypothyroid symptoms have gotten worse.  I feel so dizzy all the time but ESPECIALLY when I am just sitting or trying to relax it will legitimately feel like the room is spinning and I'm gonna end up either passing out or falling over.  A part of me wonders if since the Vitex works as a hormone balancer it was actually helping keep my thyroid levels from getting even more out of control.  But here is my issue.  I dont want to take it and have my levels begin to stabalize and then lets say I get pregnant and end up going off and boom my levels are crazy again resulting in a miscarriage. You can not take Vitex while pregnant so what do I do?  I'm planning to try and get in to the DR sooner because these symptoms are just getting worse and worse and I'm afraid I'm gonna end up hurting myself.

I am a hairdresser so I'm on my feet all day long and there will be times I'm cutting someones hair, applying color or just even blowing them dry and I start getting so dizzy!  I had to go sit in the back twice this past Saturday just to try and help the room stop spinning.  But this is especially not good while I'm driving.  But the fatigue has also gotten worse.  If I do nothing all day I'm ok but as soon as I start working or trying to get things accomplished I feel as if I ran a marathon and can't seem to wake up.  So I've been drinking tons of coffee, witch I don't think is a good thing. 

But I'm hoping and praying that this will all be a quick fix to at least get me stabilized and that we will be well on our way to starting a beautiful family.  I do have to say I am super excited.  I believe I did ovulate today, though way too late in my cycle I'm on CD 28 and will start my period on day 31.  So unless a miracle interveens no pregnancy for us.  But I am excited I was actually able to ovulate even though I am not taking Vitex, witch after having anovulatory cycles until taking the vitex I feel this in itself is a great step.

Isaac(my husband)started a new job and at the end of the year if they meet there quota everyone gets a bonus....He asked me last night what I would want to do with the bonus if we get it.  I said I dont know put it in savings, maybe take a nice vacation, he told me He was thinking maybe artificial insemination treatment  or adoption  Not right away, but holding onto the money just in case and using it for that if need be.  I just wanted to hold him so close.  He wants this so badly and is being so great and supportive.  I know that God has a purpose and a plan for everyting and I know that He will work all things out for us.  I just have to keep reminding myself that.

As of now I have no trips to focus on, nothing exciting coming my way so I feel I'm really at this point of just rest.  Just doing nothing.....Just plain sit and wait.

Now I'm just trying to hold out on taking the Vitex.  Even now as I'm sitting at my computer desk typing my head is spinning and I'm glad I'm sitting down, though I kinda feel like I need a seat belt.

We both want this so badly.  Lord please help us to trust in you, to Rest in you to lay it all down at your feet.  My preciouse Jesus I love you with all that I am.  I need you, we need you. Guide our steps we pray in your holy name~Amen.