As long as I stay busy things are ok.  But the moment I just stop and things slow down I just want to bawl my eyes out.  But I'm not sure about what exactly.  Is it the over whelming desire to be a Mom?  No I don't think so.  Is it the wait to get the help I need? Maybe but not sure.  Is it just my emotions in general?  I don't know I feel like there is just way too much going on right now and I'm not sure where to go from here.  I keep telling myself one day at a time.  One day I'll be a Mom, one day I'll feel better but ONE DAY isn't coming soon enough. 

I think I'm just so tired of the emotional ups and downs that have come over and over again.  I just have to wait take a deep breath and keep on plugin.  I'll get these huge urges of panic then next thing I know peace like a river washing over me and I'm so grateful for that. 

On the pregnant thing I'm thinking about taking a break from Vitex for a while but haven't decided yet.  It took this long for me to finally get it into my system.  But I guess we'll just have to wait and see.