Steps are being made in the right direction in regards to my heart. Before if someone told me they were pregnant I would get happy but then just jealous, angry and upset. I have a friend I work with who surprisingly didn't know that my husband and I were trying to get pregnant, at this point I thought everyone knew due to the fact my reaction to the question When are you gonna have a baby? had become rather straightforward, blunt and put in a way to make sure that I never heard them ask me again.
So when she found out we had been trying for over a year she confided in me that her and her husband had been trying for 2 years with no success. She told me that she had tried to get advice from her gyno and they told her just to keep an eye on her cervical mucus and plan sex accordingly but that she didn't really understand what that ment. So I took the time to explain things. She had believed that the thicker stretchier stuff would actually hinder the sperm movement so after explaining signs of ovulation, and some little tricks she decided to try it. Well just a few days ago she told me she is pregnant! Only a few weeks after we had our talk, she timed accordingly and it all happened!
I have to say for the first time in a very long time I am actually genuinely so happy for someone who tells me they are pregnant. Maybe its because I know she was struggling even longer than I was and so its just so good to see someone have break through. Maybe it's a sign for myself that things can only get better.
Either way it's sooo good not to be jealous about it. Thank you Jesus!
I have to say I just feel that if things don't happen soon I really believe I'll be ok. I know that each day is a journey that has its own purpose, its own plan and its own destiny. Now ask me in a week if I still feel this way and I may feel differently. But all in all I would say that God has granted me peace and it's amazing!
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