Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Like an intricate Spider's web my Emotion's come together.

So this morning consisted of calling all my different doctor's offices, having medical releases faxed signed and on there way.  I have to say I am excited about the venture but somewhat disappointed at the same time. 

I know there is still one month where we could be getting pregnant.  I know that with God all things are possible.  Now it might be that I've been battling a cold/fever for the past 3 days but I just feel as if the fight has left me.  I am so incredibly exhausted and so very ready to just let it be. 

I have faith that God is a miracle working God and I also know He promised us children.  But I also feel just incredibly exhausted.  Exhausted keeping up with my so called "bubbly personality".

A woman I work with on Saturday told me she needs to talk to me that I am not myself and wants to know what is wrong.  I didn't have an answer for her.  I of course was able to pass it on to my period(pms)  but in reality we had found out for another month we were not pregnant and so I had just made this appointment.  That didn't even bother me too horribly.  I think it's just that I feel so tired of pressing on.  I want someone else to do it for me.  I want someone else to fight the battle.

I think that's part of the reason I feel relieved about our appointment in February.  But I also believe that God's ways are so much higher than our own.  It's such a jumbled web of emotions.  No set feeling about anything in particular. 

But now officially less than a month to go things will work out  they always do. 

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