I feel like this is just going to be repeating myself from many previous blogs. But then again I guess in a situation like mine you tend to deal with the same up and down roller coaster of emotions over and over again.
This past Sunday was Easter Sunday. And on that 4 hour drive to get to my in-laws house we go through lots and lots of country/farms, mountains and hills. It's a beautiful drive one that words just don't do justice. It was also during this ride that I was able to just sit back and think. Or not think.
During this visit with my family I was refreshed. I needed it more than I realized. I needed to be able to step back and just enjoy life.
During this time I realize that family comes first. Family should always come first. I have gotten so caught up in my struggles not just with infertility but life in general that I've allowed these aggravations to steal my joy.
Stresses at work, at home, physically. All of it would nag at me from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed. And this time away from it all where I was able to just step away and forget everything was so very needed. But then I wondered. Why can I not do that all the time? Why do I have such a hard time every day just truly surrendering all of life's problems.
For Today I am not pregnant, but today has blessings and joys that tomorrow wont. Every single day is a gift from God and every day will bring different gifts and beauty. And I need to just step forward into that realization every day.
I have been frustrated with my infertility-but for now I can rejoice in my amazing husband who is always there for me and gives me every ounce of support I could ever want or need.
I have been aggravated at the medical expenses-but I can rejoice in the fact that after I pay all my bills, put food on the table I still have enough to bless others and to put toward my medical bills
I have been frustrated with certain work situations- I love what I do and I love the people I work with. I love my clients and every day I get to make a positive difference in the lives of those around me.
Today is just a season, and it's a season that once it's gone I will never get back. So I want to rejoice in this season. Rejoice in this moment. Everyday.
It's not easy, and I know it will not get any easier as time goes on. But I also know that God has a plan for my life in this season and the next. So I want to focus on that.
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