2017 is here and I feel....... lonely. December 2016 I was in my element and feeling good and excited for the first time in weeks! I was surrounded by family for the holidays, busy every day at work due to everyone wanting their hair done for Christmas. Since quitting my old job I felt like I lost all my "friends". I would send out multiple texts to people in the last 3 months asking for them to get together only to be put off over and over again by everyone but one. After 3 months I just have lost my interest in trying anymore. I'm not trying to be a downer here and I know I am extra hormonal from the fertility hormones I'm on but it's still frustrating. Ladies who I hung out with and talked to for the last 6 years suddenly just seemed to disappear out of my life. You can only pursue a friendship for so long before you realize that its all one sided. And not that I can't make new friends. I'm striving to do that every day at the gym, work, ect; but I'm a people person and an extrovert. I recharge being around people and actually having interactions with them versus and introvert who recharges by sitting alone and having "me time". I feel like I've had enough "me time". I want to get to know people. I need to recharge. I feel like I'm going crazy. I want to make a difference in the lives of everyone I come into contact with.
Work is actually going well though really slow at the moment. I really love the attitudes that come with the salon where I am. Every week we get positive group texts from the owners motivating us or challenging us to do better and how to overcome. I know it's definitely the right environment for me. It just sucks though when your used to having a full book for the last 6 years, friends to hang out with on your days off to suddenly nothing. Where I have to fight and push myself every day to get my name out there and get people to come see me. It really sucks because I know I'm good at what I do too and don't want to loose practice.
What is my outlet with all this frustration? Well I've started really working out and pushing myself at the gym which is helping for sure with my frustration but def not getting rid of it completely. I know that I'm where I am supposed to be for now. I'm trying really hard to continue to be a good steward over everything I'm given while believing in return that even more will come and work out. I know I'm rambling and I'm sorry. I just feel I had a rough day today and I don't know or see quite yet how it will get better. But I'm going to close my eyes and dive into this new year knowing that God is in control and He will not let me fail.
No comments:
Post a Comment