Steps are being made in the right direction in regards to my heart. Before if someone told me they were pregnant I would get happy but then just jealous, angry and upset. I have a friend I work with who surprisingly didn't know that my husband and I were trying to get pregnant, at this point I thought everyone knew due to the fact my reaction to the question When are you gonna have a baby? had become rather straightforward, blunt and put in a way to make sure that I never heard them ask me again.
So when she found out we had been trying for over a year she confided in me that her and her husband had been trying for 2 years with no success. She told me that she had tried to get advice from her gyno and they told her just to keep an eye on her cervical mucus and plan sex accordingly but that she didn't really understand what that ment. So I took the time to explain things. She had believed that the thicker stretchier stuff would actually hinder the sperm movement so after explaining signs of ovulation, and some little tricks she decided to try it. Well just a few days ago she told me she is pregnant! Only a few weeks after we had our talk, she timed accordingly and it all happened!
I have to say for the first time in a very long time I am actually genuinely so happy for someone who tells me they are pregnant. Maybe its because I know she was struggling even longer than I was and so its just so good to see someone have break through. Maybe it's a sign for myself that things can only get better.
Either way it's sooo good not to be jealous about it. Thank you Jesus!
I have to say I just feel that if things don't happen soon I really believe I'll be ok. I know that each day is a journey that has its own purpose, its own plan and its own destiny. Now ask me in a week if I still feel this way and I may feel differently. But all in all I would say that God has granted me peace and it's amazing!
Friday, September 20, 2013
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Kim Walker - How He loves us
I don't know if anyone needs to hear this but this is a song that is just speaking to me so much today. I am so blessed to know just how much He loves us!
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Ready to get this show on the road
So I am now officially less than one month away from my endocrinologist visit. I am so incredibly ready to get this show on the road. But a part of me wonders...will getting my thyroid fixed actually help me get pregnant? What if there is a bigger picture there. What if its not enough. But we can't life our lives based on what ifs can we?
I quit taking the vitex two weeks ago (my Dr's didn't know anything about it and are not sure that I will be able to take it when on Synthroid so suggested I stop now) and since then my hypothyroid symptoms have gotten worse. I feel so dizzy all the time but ESPECIALLY when I am just sitting or trying to relax it will legitimately feel like the room is spinning and I'm gonna end up either passing out or falling over. A part of me wonders if since the Vitex works as a hormone balancer it was actually helping keep my thyroid levels from getting even more out of control. But here is my issue. I dont want to take it and have my levels begin to stabalize and then lets say I get pregnant and end up going off and boom my levels are crazy again resulting in a miscarriage. You can not take Vitex while pregnant so what do I do? I'm planning to try and get in to the DR sooner because these symptoms are just getting worse and worse and I'm afraid I'm gonna end up hurting myself.
I am a hairdresser so I'm on my feet all day long and there will be times I'm cutting someones hair, applying color or just even blowing them dry and I start getting so dizzy! I had to go sit in the back twice this past Saturday just to try and help the room stop spinning. But this is especially not good while I'm driving. But the fatigue has also gotten worse. If I do nothing all day I'm ok but as soon as I start working or trying to get things accomplished I feel as if I ran a marathon and can't seem to wake up. So I've been drinking tons of coffee, witch I don't think is a good thing.
But I'm hoping and praying that this will all be a quick fix to at least get me stabilized and that we will be well on our way to starting a beautiful family. I do have to say I am super excited. I believe I did ovulate today, though way too late in my cycle I'm on CD 28 and will start my period on day 31. So unless a miracle interveens no pregnancy for us. But I am excited I was actually able to ovulate even though I am not taking Vitex, witch after having anovulatory cycles until taking the vitex I feel this in itself is a great step.
Isaac(my husband)started a new job and at the end of the year if they meet there quota everyone gets a bonus....He asked me last night what I would want to do with the bonus if we get it. I said I dont know put it in savings, maybe take a nice vacation, he told me He was thinking maybe artificial insemination treatment or adoption Not right away, but holding onto the money just in case and using it for that if need be. I just wanted to hold him so close. He wants this so badly and is being so great and supportive. I know that God has a purpose and a plan for everyting and I know that He will work all things out for us. I just have to keep reminding myself that.
As of now I have no trips to focus on, nothing exciting coming my way so I feel I'm really at this point of just rest. Just doing nothing.....Just plain sit and wait.
Now I'm just trying to hold out on taking the Vitex. Even now as I'm sitting at my computer desk typing my head is spinning and I'm glad I'm sitting down, though I kinda feel like I need a seat belt.
We both want this so badly. Lord please help us to trust in you, to Rest in you to lay it all down at your feet. My preciouse Jesus I love you with all that I am. I need you, we need you. Guide our steps we pray in your holy name~Amen.
I quit taking the vitex two weeks ago (my Dr's didn't know anything about it and are not sure that I will be able to take it when on Synthroid so suggested I stop now) and since then my hypothyroid symptoms have gotten worse. I feel so dizzy all the time but ESPECIALLY when I am just sitting or trying to relax it will legitimately feel like the room is spinning and I'm gonna end up either passing out or falling over. A part of me wonders if since the Vitex works as a hormone balancer it was actually helping keep my thyroid levels from getting even more out of control. But here is my issue. I dont want to take it and have my levels begin to stabalize and then lets say I get pregnant and end up going off and boom my levels are crazy again resulting in a miscarriage. You can not take Vitex while pregnant so what do I do? I'm planning to try and get in to the DR sooner because these symptoms are just getting worse and worse and I'm afraid I'm gonna end up hurting myself.
I am a hairdresser so I'm on my feet all day long and there will be times I'm cutting someones hair, applying color or just even blowing them dry and I start getting so dizzy! I had to go sit in the back twice this past Saturday just to try and help the room stop spinning. But this is especially not good while I'm driving. But the fatigue has also gotten worse. If I do nothing all day I'm ok but as soon as I start working or trying to get things accomplished I feel as if I ran a marathon and can't seem to wake up. So I've been drinking tons of coffee, witch I don't think is a good thing.
But I'm hoping and praying that this will all be a quick fix to at least get me stabilized and that we will be well on our way to starting a beautiful family. I do have to say I am super excited. I believe I did ovulate today, though way too late in my cycle I'm on CD 28 and will start my period on day 31. So unless a miracle interveens no pregnancy for us. But I am excited I was actually able to ovulate even though I am not taking Vitex, witch after having anovulatory cycles until taking the vitex I feel this in itself is a great step.
Isaac(my husband)started a new job and at the end of the year if they meet there quota everyone gets a bonus....He asked me last night what I would want to do with the bonus if we get it. I said I dont know put it in savings, maybe take a nice vacation, he told me He was thinking maybe artificial insemination treatment or adoption Not right away, but holding onto the money just in case and using it for that if need be. I just wanted to hold him so close. He wants this so badly and is being so great and supportive. I know that God has a purpose and a plan for everyting and I know that He will work all things out for us. I just have to keep reminding myself that.
As of now I have no trips to focus on, nothing exciting coming my way so I feel I'm really at this point of just rest. Just doing nothing.....Just plain sit and wait.
Now I'm just trying to hold out on taking the Vitex. Even now as I'm sitting at my computer desk typing my head is spinning and I'm glad I'm sitting down, though I kinda feel like I need a seat belt.
We both want this so badly. Lord please help us to trust in you, to Rest in you to lay it all down at your feet. My preciouse Jesus I love you with all that I am. I need you, we need you. Guide our steps we pray in your holy name~Amen.
Monday, September 2, 2013
Vitex is it right for you?
So I decided to write my own review on using Vitex in order to try and regulate your cycles and become pregnant. I have to say that when I was considering using this product I had such an incredibly hard time finding recent reviews or information on it so here we go:
So just a warning this review is going to be very long and detailed but I feel it will help people make the decision on if this product is right for them.
I started taking Vitex exactly 11 weeks ago. The reason I began Vitex is my husband and I have been trying to conceive. After almost a year of trying I decided to start charting my cycles because even though we were using home ovulation predictor kits we still were not getting pregnant. I normally get my period every 31 days*pretty much exactly* except when I was coming off the pill it was 28 days the first two months. Well After beginning the charting I discovered I had what looked like anvoluntary cycles(my temps where everywhere!) even though I was getting the rise in hormones to show on the predictor kits I wasn't actually ovulating. So after doing some research Vitex seemed like a good way to try and get my progesterone levels to rise high enough to get me to ovulate and hopefully balance out some other hormone issues.
But I can say it didn't work quite like I was expecting it to. The first two weeks I took 1 400mg pill 2x a day(once in the morning and once at night) I then after two weeks went ahead and uped it to 3x a day morning, afternoon and evening. The first month I took it I actually ovulated! BUT super late! If any of you are familiar with charting your cycles you know that you can confirm ovulation from the temps well my temps were still kinda all over the place just like they are with the anovulatory cycles till suddenly boom I ovulated but I didn't actually ovulate until cycle day 35, well along with ovulating so late I had so many pregnancy symptoms! My boobs hurt so bad, I started lactating(yes actually lactating and I have never had a child or been pregnant before) and got a super sensitive sense of smell. All this made me believe I had in fact become pregnant. Well then when I finally did get my period 10 days late (on day 41 this gave me a 5 day Luteal phase) I was crushed. I had thought the vitex would have me ovulate earlier, but instead it had me ovulate just too late in my cylce for it to do any good. So I continued taking it. Well this past month I ovulated for a second time this time on cycle day 31 with only a 3 day luteal phase. No lactation this time I did however get the sensitive boobs but I knew what to look for. BUT this time my temps where actually steady and not all over the place. So I did in fact ovulate a little early but with a shorter luteal phase and still too late in the cycle. So I have to say I like it because I am actually ovulating now. But I do have to say that it has not helped with the periods. I normally bleed 10-12 days. Well since starting vitex each period has lasted 10 days but I ended up on both periods getting severe cramping and huge clots....But i am thinking part of this may end up being the fact that I actually ovulated so am legitimately shedding the uterus lining.
Side effects: I really am not sure how to answer this. I can't say there is anything in particular I can point a finger to. For a long time now(before taking vitex) I have been getting dizzy spells so since taking vitex they have become more frequent. So I went to my general dr and had some labs drawn and it looks like I have hypothyroidism. So I am not sure if the vitex is what kicked that into a little bit worse or if my thyroid has said enough is enough get treatment now.
I am still waiting for my visit with the endocrinologist to get this under control and then plan on continuing vitex if allowed by the dr. Until then one pill a day will continue.
I will post a more updated account on taking this product in a few months and see if my cycles become even more regulated. But to summarize Vitex did help me to actually ovulate, just so far Not quite where I need to be :-) But like any medication or vitamins if unsure talk to your DR. First. Good luck!
So just a warning this review is going to be very long and detailed but I feel it will help people make the decision on if this product is right for them.
I started taking Vitex exactly 11 weeks ago. The reason I began Vitex is my husband and I have been trying to conceive. After almost a year of trying I decided to start charting my cycles because even though we were using home ovulation predictor kits we still were not getting pregnant. I normally get my period every 31 days*pretty much exactly* except when I was coming off the pill it was 28 days the first two months. Well After beginning the charting I discovered I had what looked like anvoluntary cycles(my temps where everywhere!) even though I was getting the rise in hormones to show on the predictor kits I wasn't actually ovulating. So after doing some research Vitex seemed like a good way to try and get my progesterone levels to rise high enough to get me to ovulate and hopefully balance out some other hormone issues.
But I can say it didn't work quite like I was expecting it to. The first two weeks I took 1 400mg pill 2x a day(once in the morning and once at night) I then after two weeks went ahead and uped it to 3x a day morning, afternoon and evening. The first month I took it I actually ovulated! BUT super late! If any of you are familiar with charting your cycles you know that you can confirm ovulation from the temps well my temps were still kinda all over the place just like they are with the anovulatory cycles till suddenly boom I ovulated but I didn't actually ovulate until cycle day 35, well along with ovulating so late I had so many pregnancy symptoms! My boobs hurt so bad, I started lactating(yes actually lactating and I have never had a child or been pregnant before) and got a super sensitive sense of smell. All this made me believe I had in fact become pregnant. Well then when I finally did get my period 10 days late (on day 41 this gave me a 5 day Luteal phase) I was crushed. I had thought the vitex would have me ovulate earlier, but instead it had me ovulate just too late in my cylce for it to do any good. So I continued taking it. Well this past month I ovulated for a second time this time on cycle day 31 with only a 3 day luteal phase. No lactation this time I did however get the sensitive boobs but I knew what to look for. BUT this time my temps where actually steady and not all over the place. So I did in fact ovulate a little early but with a shorter luteal phase and still too late in the cycle. So I have to say I like it because I am actually ovulating now. But I do have to say that it has not helped with the periods. I normally bleed 10-12 days. Well since starting vitex each period has lasted 10 days but I ended up on both periods getting severe cramping and huge clots....But i am thinking part of this may end up being the fact that I actually ovulated so am legitimately shedding the uterus lining.
Side effects: I really am not sure how to answer this. I can't say there is anything in particular I can point a finger to. For a long time now(before taking vitex) I have been getting dizzy spells so since taking vitex they have become more frequent. So I went to my general dr and had some labs drawn and it looks like I have hypothyroidism. So I am not sure if the vitex is what kicked that into a little bit worse or if my thyroid has said enough is enough get treatment now.
I am still waiting for my visit with the endocrinologist to get this under control and then plan on continuing vitex if allowed by the dr. Until then one pill a day will continue.
I will post a more updated account on taking this product in a few months and see if my cycles become even more regulated. But to summarize Vitex did help me to actually ovulate, just so far Not quite where I need to be :-) But like any medication or vitamins if unsure talk to your DR. First. Good luck!
Sunday, September 1, 2013
As long as I stay busy things are ok. But the moment I just stop and things slow down I just want to bawl my eyes out. But I'm not sure about what exactly. Is it the over whelming desire to be a Mom? No I don't think so. Is it the wait to get the help I need? Maybe but not sure. Is it just my emotions in general? I don't know I feel like there is just way too much going on right now and I'm not sure where to go from here. I keep telling myself one day at a time. One day I'll be a Mom, one day I'll feel better but ONE DAY isn't coming soon enough.
I think I'm just so tired of the emotional ups and downs that have come over and over again. I just have to wait take a deep breath and keep on plugin. I'll get these huge urges of panic then next thing I know peace like a river washing over me and I'm so grateful for that.
On the pregnant thing I'm thinking about taking a break from Vitex for a while but haven't decided yet. It took this long for me to finally get it into my system. But I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
I think I'm just so tired of the emotional ups and downs that have come over and over again. I just have to wait take a deep breath and keep on plugin. I'll get these huge urges of panic then next thing I know peace like a river washing over me and I'm so grateful for that.
On the pregnant thing I'm thinking about taking a break from Vitex for a while but haven't decided yet. It took this long for me to finally get it into my system. But I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Pregnancy plans on hold
I think this post is going to be all over the place....I've been getting so incredibly frustrated the past few days. Actually ever since I found out I'm going to have to go and get on Thyroid medications it's been a up and down emotional roller coaster. I think the main key is I am just so frustrated because I want tings fixed now and moving forward and I have to wait. We decided to hold off on trying to get pregnant until we have this situation under control, obviously if it happens then we will be thrilled but we aren't going to feel stressed about it. I'm not thinking its going to happen since I haven't been ovulating anyway right now.
But one of the weird things is I will literally just start crying at the drop of a hat. I have been getting the dizzy spells more frequently, and after talking with other's who have thyroid issues all of this has to do with hypothyroidism and how my hormones are out of wack.
On the good side of things our insurance plan isn't actually going to change at all just our group number and id number since its from a new work place. So on Tuesday I will be making lots of phone calls to the Dr's office to se up my endocrinologist visit.
Yesterday I talked with my manager to tell her that I had to make an appointment and since its such a long wait list if they will be willing to move my schedule around so I can get in asap. She was super understanding and as it turns out she herself has hyperthyroidism the opposite of what I have. She asked me my lab numbers and did indeed confirmed that I have hypothyroidism. She was able to calm me down and speak about how very easy it is to get under control and just made me feel a lot better.
I also joined a support group on babycenter.com for women who are trying to conceive who have thyroid problems. I posted my numbers and symptoms and all of them said yes its definitely hypothyroidism. As to the how quickly to get it under control its been different for each woman but looking about a few months.
At this point I am just praying that God would give me peace and help me to have it continually throughout the day and not up and down up and down.
I think another thing is I'm trying so hard to just stay positive for Isaac, not only is he so worried about me, even though we know its an easy fix. He sees me get dizzy he sees me tired and he knows that I'm stressed. But now we have to wait to get pregnant witch makes it even harder for us.
He is just so good. He is so strong for me and when he puts his arms around me and prays for me I know everything is going to be ok no matter what. So I just try and keep a hold of these emotions and just take it one step at a time.
So the first step is call the insurance company and the dr on Tuesday and get my appointments set up. It will all work out.
But one of the weird things is I will literally just start crying at the drop of a hat. I have been getting the dizzy spells more frequently, and after talking with other's who have thyroid issues all of this has to do with hypothyroidism and how my hormones are out of wack.
On the good side of things our insurance plan isn't actually going to change at all just our group number and id number since its from a new work place. So on Tuesday I will be making lots of phone calls to the Dr's office to se up my endocrinologist visit.
Yesterday I talked with my manager to tell her that I had to make an appointment and since its such a long wait list if they will be willing to move my schedule around so I can get in asap. She was super understanding and as it turns out she herself has hyperthyroidism the opposite of what I have. She asked me my lab numbers and did indeed confirmed that I have hypothyroidism. She was able to calm me down and speak about how very easy it is to get under control and just made me feel a lot better.
I also joined a support group on babycenter.com for women who are trying to conceive who have thyroid problems. I posted my numbers and symptoms and all of them said yes its definitely hypothyroidism. As to the how quickly to get it under control its been different for each woman but looking about a few months.
At this point I am just praying that God would give me peace and help me to have it continually throughout the day and not up and down up and down.
I think another thing is I'm trying so hard to just stay positive for Isaac, not only is he so worried about me, even though we know its an easy fix. He sees me get dizzy he sees me tired and he knows that I'm stressed. But now we have to wait to get pregnant witch makes it even harder for us.
He is just so good. He is so strong for me and when he puts his arms around me and prays for me I know everything is going to be ok no matter what. So I just try and keep a hold of these emotions and just take it one step at a time.
So the first step is call the insurance company and the dr on Tuesday and get my appointments set up. It will all work out.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Day by Day
Mathew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
I just keep trying to tell myself this. Step by Step and day by day. It reminds me of the age old question: "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time."
Today is a good day, today is a day I feel like I am slowly making strides in this seemingly never ending challenge to start a family.
Yesterday I got a phone call from my doctor. She had a chance to personally review my blood work and go over the other symptoms I had listed. She said she normally would have a retest done in 6 months since only one of the two thyroid tests done where flagged but some of my symptoms I have point to hypothyroidism and since I believe this is indeed the reason I am not getting pregnant the she will have me go see and endocrinologist to have my Thyroid checked along with having me schedule with an obgyn to go over my anovulatory cycles and other symptoms. I'm not sure where this will lead but at least I am making strides in the right direction. But now is just a waiting game for being able to get in to said appointment, I wont be able to go see either until October. But she said if I happen to get pregnant in between now and then to call her asap cause she will want to keep an eye on my thyroid levels till I can get in to see the endocrinologist. But I have a feeling that's not going to be happening since that's most likely what has been keeping me from getting pregnant anyway.
I know that God sees the big picture, and I feel good knowing that I have a game plan. If all this works out then maybe everything else will fall into place super soon. And If I do in fact have a thyroid problem it will explain a lot of things I've been struggling with and maybe help me lose some weight and get healthy and of course help me actually ovulate.
I was really blessed and excited by the doctor taking time to really listen to me. She even told me if at any point I have any questions or need anything else to call her.
So I feel good. Today at least. I'm just trusting and believe that everything happens for a reason and every cloud does indeed have a silver lining. Until then I will try to enjoy life, enjoy the journey and just continue to trust and believe that it will happen.
I know it might seem a little strange but knowing it's possibly my thyroid and possibly not an ovary/feminine problem makes me feel so much better and less like a failure. I know in the end it's not something I can control either way but it gives me an excuse and I will gladly take it.
At least I have lots of exciting things to look forward to, in just a few weeks I will be traveling to New York city with my Mom for a wonderful few days.
Until next time
I just keep trying to tell myself this. Step by Step and day by day. It reminds me of the age old question: "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time."
Today is a good day, today is a day I feel like I am slowly making strides in this seemingly never ending challenge to start a family.
Yesterday I got a phone call from my doctor. She had a chance to personally review my blood work and go over the other symptoms I had listed. She said she normally would have a retest done in 6 months since only one of the two thyroid tests done where flagged but some of my symptoms I have point to hypothyroidism and since I believe this is indeed the reason I am not getting pregnant the she will have me go see and endocrinologist to have my Thyroid checked along with having me schedule with an obgyn to go over my anovulatory cycles and other symptoms. I'm not sure where this will lead but at least I am making strides in the right direction. But now is just a waiting game for being able to get in to said appointment, I wont be able to go see either until October. But she said if I happen to get pregnant in between now and then to call her asap cause she will want to keep an eye on my thyroid levels till I can get in to see the endocrinologist. But I have a feeling that's not going to be happening since that's most likely what has been keeping me from getting pregnant anyway.
I know that God sees the big picture, and I feel good knowing that I have a game plan. If all this works out then maybe everything else will fall into place super soon. And If I do in fact have a thyroid problem it will explain a lot of things I've been struggling with and maybe help me lose some weight and get healthy and of course help me actually ovulate.
I was really blessed and excited by the doctor taking time to really listen to me. She even told me if at any point I have any questions or need anything else to call her.
So I feel good. Today at least. I'm just trusting and believe that everything happens for a reason and every cloud does indeed have a silver lining. Until then I will try to enjoy life, enjoy the journey and just continue to trust and believe that it will happen.
I know it might seem a little strange but knowing it's possibly my thyroid and possibly not an ovary/feminine problem makes me feel so much better and less like a failure. I know in the end it's not something I can control either way but it gives me an excuse and I will gladly take it.
At least I have lots of exciting things to look forward to, in just a few weeks I will be traveling to New York city with my Mom for a wonderful few days.
Until next time
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