I have no control over this stuff and I hate that. I just want to get the yes and go on. Right now a certain part of the serenity prayer is playing over and over in my mind:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
It is just playing over and over again in my mind. I know God sees and already knows what is going to happen so I just need to trust. To Truly trust.
Lord Help me to rest in your peace and in the path that you have for me. Help us to be okay with the path you have us go down.
Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.
I feel like the scripture says enough itself. I know that God is in control of every situation and He has my very best interest at heart. God help me to truly remember this today and every day. Even if we do get to do the treatment cycle this month then just open the door you desire for us Lord. We need to be at peace with where you would have us to go. Help lead us on the right path I pray Lord. In your holy name. ~Amen
~~~~~~~~EDIT~~~~~~~
I just heard from the doctor. My ultra sound looked good but my estrogen levels are too high. They are at +100 and you have to be below 88 to be able to start any treatment. The only issue is that Last month my estrogen levels where high as well. This is consistent with cyst...but none where on my ovaries. I believe it was high too when I was getting tested for pcos. That's one of the reasons that they were thinking I could possibly have pcos even though not all the signs were consistent. So I asked her what happens if the estrogen levels are still too high this month and then the same next month what does that mean? Does it mean that we can't do any treatments since every single treatment option involves some kind of fertility pill? She said she doesn't know and that the Dr will have to re-evaluate that at the appropriate time but the way she said it didn't give me high hopes.
So that being said God I need your peace now more than ever! Please help me to trust explicitly in you. Thank you that Your will shall be done. In your Holy name. ~Amen
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