In not so fun news on the pregnancy related front: I just started coughing from drainage then proceeded to projectile vomit (out of no where with not warning) in mid cough all over my pants and the floor. I had NO idea it was coming just felt like I needed to cough and WALLA puke. Fantastic. Hope that doesn't happen at work. I can't take anything that would help. Bendadryl kicks my butt even one makes me want to sleep for hours/can't function and Clariton doesn't do anything but on top of that almost every time I've had spotting either the day of or the day before I took either benadryl, tylenol or clairton so it makes me not want to take anything because it makes me think that it's not a coincidence. Though I know those things wouldn't normally cause spotting. I just hope that doesn't happen while I'm at work omg that would be horrific.
On a more serious note Isaac and I are still talking/praying about what to do in near the future when it comes to our family, our baby and our lives together. On the family part, we need and want the option to be able to visit family more often/see them now more than 1 sometimes 2 times a year, sometimes we go over a year from seeing my family and facetime and facebook just isn't the same. And his parents are only 4 hours away but we still only see them occasionally due to work schedules, drive and limited vacation times. On the baby, we will not be putting Ezekiel in day care(first holy cow its expensive my paycheck would barely cover it!). But that being set aside Neither myself or Isaac want anyone else watching/raising him apart from us while working/doing things that need to be done. Obviously we have friends that we would have no issue babysitting for date nights and what not but when it comes to raising and taking care of our little guy on a regular basis we want it to be us. We hate only having three days off together a month. Gosh that sounds so small. So horrifying. How much time do we spend with our coworkers over our family? I guess that's why I've gotten to love my coworkers to much. They have become my family. But either way family comes first...it always should. So it's a lot to think and pray about. A lot of unknowns and nerves. Mainly because I have always been a control freak. I have always worked and normally worked as close to a full time job as I was allowed since 13 years old. When I was 13 I got a job paying under the table working at a photography studio cutting mats. booking appointments, filing ect; looking back man I was a steal/not paid minimum wage but hey for me it was money! From there I went to a Church nursery at 14 to a coffee shop at 15 and just every year worked and worked as much as I was allowed. Either way whatever God leads us to do is going to be best for our family and that is was matters.
I just hate not being in control. I think this might end up being very good for me though very scary...this unknown. Shoot just the 12 week maternity leave itself where I don't have a paycheck coming in and we are relying on Isaac's income makes me want to squeeze my pocket book shut as fast as possible. Wow, that's going to be so different. Not to have two incomes coming in.
But God has always always always provided! Even when we had NO idea how he was going to he was there. He is faithful always. And I am so grateful to serve a God that can take 5 loaves and feed thousands of people. He can take what we make and stretch it to all three of us. I am blessed. I am excited, though nervous about the future. We will follow God's leading and go the direction He tells us.
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