"In You O Lord I have taken refuge, let me never be put to shame. Deliver me in your righteousness. Turn your ear to me come quickly to my rescue be my rock of refuge a strong fortress to save me. Since you are my rock and my fortress for the sake of your name lead and guide me. Free me from the trap that is set for me. For you are my refuge into your hands I commit my spirit. Redeem me o lord the god of truth. I hate those who cling to worthless idols; I trust in the Lord. I will be glad and rejoice in your Love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul. You have not handed me over to the enemy but have set my feet in a spacious place." Psalm 31:1-8
Turn your ear to me come quickly to my rescue be my rock of refuge a strong fortress to save me.
I trust in the Lord. I will be glad and rejoice in your Love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul
This scripture really spoke to me this morning. It's been really hard actually within the past year for me to enter into worship. I'll have my moments where I can lay down the distractions and focus on what I should. But I feel like really it is few and far between. Mainly it was during emotional Highs I was able to get into the mood of prayer. During the low's I've just felt so drained of energy not even sure how to enter in. And then of course lately I've just been distracted with the baby and sleep deprived. So any free time I have I have wanted to focus on sleep or trying to maintain the house a little bit.
But the work will still be there in a few hours. The house will get dirty again, but my spirit is suffering. I miss the times where I would put on worship music and pray for hours. I miss the times where I would immediately feel the spirit of God come and rest upon me with his peace. But as much as I miss these things I know that it's still there. God has never left. I may feel emotionally drained, or physically tired but through it all God is there. I may not see him as openly as you can sometimes but I know that He is indeed there.
Isaiah 55:6-13 "Seek the Lord while he may be found. Call upon Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts let him return to the Lord and He will have mercy on Him and to our God for He will abundantly pardon. For my Thoughts are not your thoughts nor are your ways My ways says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth so are My ways higher than your ways. And my thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain comes down and the snow from heaven and do not return there but water the earth and make it bring forth and bud that it may give seed to the sower and bread to the eater so shall my word be that goes forth from my mouth it shall not return to me void but it shall accomplish what I please and it shall prosper in the things for which I sent it. For you shall go out with joy and be led out with peace. The mountains and the hills shall break forth into singing before you, all the trees of the field shall clap their hands Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress tree, And instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree, and it shall be to the Lord for a name for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off."
He sees my heart He sees everything that is coming into my mind. He sees my deepest desires. Currently I feel my deepest desire is to get back on track. I want to radiate His glory. I want people to look at me and see my Love for the Lord. Even in trials I want to be able to be a light to those that are suffering. I feel like I just kind of gave up. Not on my beliefs or my values but on seeking after Him. I've been tired, weary and worn down and just all around over it. But that's okay. Thankfully I serve a God that is bigger than my emotions. That is bigger than any problem as it tries to come against me. He is always there in the good and the bad. His peace rests upon me no matter where I go.
Heavenly Father you see my heart and my desire towards you to grow closer. To put you first in all I do. God I want our family to be where you want us to be. You said:
"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Matthew 6:33
God this is my desire. I want to seek you first. Seek you first above our finances, above our jobs, above even our own relationships so that we can then have a relationship founded on you. God I ask that you would give me a hunger and thirst for you and help me Lord to make the time to seek first your kingdom. God I have so many dreams so many things I know you have called us to be and do so I just ask for your guidance and your wisdom Lord. Jesus I just pray that you would open the doors you want open Lord and close those that you want shut. God I thank you for the amazing gift of Ezekiel that you have given to us. God there is no greater gift then to have a child and to raise him up knowing you. Let Isaac and I be examples of that. Let us be examples of your Love and of how if we seek after you that you always answer. Lord I ask that you would guard our hearts against all evil and temptations. I pray that you would help us to have peace about the path's you call us to walk on. I want to know you. I want to reach out to loved ones, friends, co workers. I want to be a beacon of hope for your love. And your love unconditionally. You do see race, color, sexuality. You love us all and desire all of us to know you. So I ask that you would help me to be the instrument where people can feel your unconditional love. No matter where they have been or where they are going. Let me be a beacon that brings joy and light to them during the journey. I thank you Lord. ~Amen
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