Emotional

I had a great day today but for some reason I just got really emotional.  It's been over a month since my chemical pregnancy and I've been able to talk about it to people without a problem.  But tonight when I told one of my friends who knows we are doing fertility treatments about it I just started crying.  I feel okay, I have grieved and I have healed but I guess it wont ever completely go away.  It amazes me how something like this can devastate so badly.  I wasn't pregnant for weeks, I didn't get to hear a heartbeat but it has become a part of me.  I'm in the percentage of those who have loved and lost.

I will not let this beat me though.  I feel relief in the thought that at least I know we can get pregnant.  I know that it will happen in God's timing. 

So far this cycle things are looking really promising.  I did ovulate, and hoping that both eggs were released since I had the two follicles growing neck and neck(one at 12 ml and one at 11 on cd 12)  So both should have grown and released around the same time.  I got two days worth of positive ovulation tests.  I know I posted my one positive on my last post but the next day I got an even stronger positive.  I've never had that before ever so I'm praying that's a good sign.  Actually on my previous Femara cycles I didn't get a + ovulation test at all even though on cycle day 12 I had one that was already ready to go measuring at 18.  So now I am officially in the two week wait and I just want to keep myself busy but positive.