Thankfully my morning sickness has lessened a LOT and I'm only feeling nauseous every couple days and when it hits it's not nearly as bad as it was. I have to say I feel like I suddenly popped out and way earlier than I would expect. Thankfully I've only gained 2 pounds from where I started (doesn't make much sense figuring how I am already in maternity pants but hey I'll take it).
I know it would be really early for this but I swear I think I'm starting to feel the baby move. Not constantly just every once in a rare second every few days I'll get this little splurt/bubbly/fluttery feeling up against my uterus on the inside. The first few times it happened I thought it was just gas. But then each time after that it would always feel exactly the same(where as gas tends to move around and feel a little different and last a little longer than a split second) It feels kind of like the little jumps/crazy moves the little one was making when we viewed it on the ultrasound. The best way for me to describe it would be taking three fingers and quickly just tapping them down one after the other in quickness but feeling almost like if your underwater and you blow out air bubbles through a straw and put your hand over it what the air bubbles feel like hitting your hand. That's why I was thinking it was gas but It will come so fast and just be gone within a blink. Either way baby or not it makes me smile and reminds me of the most amazing gift that God has blessed us with.
That being said I really do feel so incredibly blessed. Despite everything I have been through to get here, how hard the actual here has been and currently is I am just beyond blessed. God is fundamentally amazing beyond my comprehension. He gives good gifts to his children and I'm so happy to be here. I have to say that with how long the journey took I definitely think we are enjoying the preparation stage to the fullest possibility. We aren't stressed about what it's going to cost to have a baby, get the nursery together or even after.....we know that God got us this far He won't bail out now.
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17
God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. 1Corinthians 1:9
For those of you readers out there still waiting for your gift. God has not forgotten you. God see's your cries and He is faithful to answer them:
Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass. 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24
Even if it isn't happening in the timing that you want it to. Just hold on. I can't tell you the how many times I felt like I was loosing it all. I just knew I couldn't handle another month. I was so done. I was so broken. But that seems to be where we need to be to be remade. He remade me. I found out I was stronger than I ever knew that I was. He showed me just how strong I could be, though I would never wish this on anyone. And I pray to God I will never have to go through it again myself, I know that He is faithful and through the darkness He brought a beautiful light. Its like song lyrics: "Out of the ashes beauty will rise"
“A broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise” (Psalm 51:17).
No matter where you are with things just be honest with Him. He already knows He just wants to hear you say it.
That being said here is a picture of my 10 week "blotation" Its a bloat bump not baby but I'll take it and treasure it either way.
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