But now it looks like it may be the end to this unmedicated cycle already. I am only 11 days past ovulation but got a big temperature dip today along with spotting and cramping. It looks like the red devil is trying so hard to come so I stopped taking the progesterone today. I am just ready to get this ball rolling if I am not pregnant this month.
I honestly don't know how I feel right now. I feel a mixture of things.....relief that I will get to start a controlled medicated cycle. Disappointed that I have to have a medicated cycle to get my body to do what it should. I don't feel sad, angry or anything just kind of accepting and determined. I will do what I need to do in order to up my chances this next cycle. I know God's ways are so much bigger than my own so I just need to keep trusting that He sees it all.
So many questions running through my mind. If this doesn't work how many more times till we head towards adoption? As of now the plan is to do treatments until December and then re-evaluate from there. Thankfully we hit our out of pocket deductible on our insurance so they are covering the rest until November.
When I think about adoption now my feelings are kind of all over the place. We have always wanted to adopt...but now as we are getting so close to heading down that road all these thoughts and questions begin to come to mind.
How will it feel holding a child that is suddenly your own without having the 9 months to bond with it. I know that it will be that way despite when we adopt but I guess right now the thought kind of scares me. Will I be able to comfort them when they are so use to hearing and being with someone else? Either way I will commit to be the best mother I can possibly be to them when that time comes.
So I guess now it's just a matter of a waiting for my period to come then we will be on our way.
What about ivf would that be an option? I mean adoption is also costly,
ReplyDeleteI really hope it won't go that far, I hope you get pregnant and carry your baby to term. Good luck