Thrown For A Loop

Isaac and I were thrown for a really big loop today.  He had his yearly review where they told him he is a model employee, they love having him work for them.  They are giving him a 5% bonus in this paycheck.  Followed by his boss telling him that's the good news:  The bad news is we just lost over 50% of our contracts for this next year and we aren't going to be able to afford to keep you on.  So we are going to have to let you go.  Apparently, according to Isaac, his boss started crying several times as he was telling him.  He could tell he really felt bad and he kept apologizing.  Isaac seemed to have held it together really well.

His boss told him that He is going to write him a letter of recommendation for other jobs in the future.  Along with the president of the company had emailed him a few months ago on how well he did on a certain project and how much they appreciated him.   He kept asking Isaac if he was okay, because he was so calm.  But Isaac just calmly told them that He is fine.  He will land on his feet but that they could have handled this a lot better.  He heard a few weeks ago that there were going to be losing work and he came to him and asked him if he needed to be concerned and was assured no not at all.  Things would be fine so he trusted him.  He told him if he knew he should have told him especially since he knows his wife is pregnant.

So yes, that's how our day went.  I just finished a 10 day work stretch.  I'm exhausted, moody, tired and now stressed.  And of course lets not forget pregnant.  We were supposed to go out tomorrow to celebrate me birthday and Isaac is still insisting we do something but I just don't feel right about it.  I feel like I am not allowed to spend any extra money at all.  So we will have to see Isaac is insisting on at least going out to lunch or getting me something but I just don't know how I feel about it.  I really want to try and save as much money as possible.  So we will see.

Right now I'm fine one second then freaking out the next.  I know that God is in control and we have been in much worse situations but I know that God is going to cause everything to work out as it should.  I just have to trust.

It feels even more surreal because a few months ago I had a dream where I was telling someone that Isaac lost his job and today when I was telling a friend it came rushing back in dejavu style where I remembered that I had a dream about this.  So that made me feel a little better since I felt like it was God's way of reminding me He always sees the big picture and that it is going to be okay.

Since getting home and processing little Ezekiel has been going crazy.  It makes me so happy to feel but kind of stresses me out at the same time since it reminds me we have him coming to join our family soon.  I know it will all work out.   God has always worked it out for us.  But I just need to trust, take deep breathes and let God lead us.

One blessing about today I forgot to mention I got an anonymous package on the mail today: