Friday, July 18, 2014

So Refreshing

This chapter really spoke to me today.  I think because of how emotional I've been and this struggle in general is just so incredibly hard:

Isaiah 55:8-13
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
10 “For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
And do not return there,
But water the earth,
And make it bring forth and bud,
That it may give seed to the sower
And bread to the eater,
11 So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.

12 “For you shall go out with joy,
And be led out with peace;
The mountains and the hills
Shall break forth into singing before you,
And all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress tree,
And instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree;
And it shall be to the Lord for a name,
For an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.”

I know I have had this in my past posts as well.  But those last two verses I have underlined just speak so much truth.  I can have the joy of the Lord no matter what situation or circumstance tries to come against me.  Any trial or obstacle that tries to come against me has no hold and it shall break apart and allow me to walk through.  I think its interesting that in the Bible God mainly speaks to us in parables.  Why is that?  Is it because in our human minds we are so restricted by the laws of physics and what is "normal" that it is hard for us to actually understand the fullness of His Mercy and the fullness of His goodness.  It would be impossible to understand God simply speaking the world into existence...yet it happened.  I was reminded today of Abraham and Sarah.  God had promised them a wife even in their old age.  Sarah had laughed when God told her she would have a son because she was way past due in her physical form of having a child.  But yet it happened.  God blew the physical scientific boundaries.  Something He seems to love doing since we serve a God of miracles. 

My God is greater than anything that would try and come against me.  He is greater than this mountain of infertility.  He is greater than it all.  So all I want to do it trust in Him.  Rely on Him and rest in Him.   And allow Him to blow apart the boundaries I put on myself. 

So whats going on with me?  Well I woke up this morning to another huge temperature drop yet my spotting has lightened and is  almost non existent not gone completely just very light.  But I'm really not fooled.  I think the progesterone is just strong enough to keep it at bay for now.  I go in on Sunday to take the blood pregnancy test as long as the red devil doesn't show up before then.  I kind of hope if it is coming that it will come today or tomorrow that way I can do my cycle day 2/3 blood work on my day off.  Either way I know its out of my control no matter how much I hate that idea.  

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