A Time For Rest
Right now I am reminded of Ecclesiastes there is a time for everything under the sun. And this week as I head to Myrtle Beach it's a time to relax to rest and remove myself from the current infertility struggles, work frustrations ect; I want to let this trip be truly refreshing and to remind me what is important. Right now I'm just so tired of feeling overwhelmed. I want to just stop and rest in everything God has in store. I want to have victory this month when dealing with my infertility. I want the frustrations at work to go away but that isn't going to just happen I have to let it bounce off of me. All of it. But with the way things are going lately I feel more like a rock on a ocean cliff side determined to stand my ground as the waves crash against me. They will not be able to pull me down since I am grounded in the strength of the cliff wall (Or in my case my faith and promises God has given to me. The fact that even though things are not going how I want them to go right now He still has a purpose for me every day). But through the constant hammering of the waves some of the rock face has become damaged and worn. But just like the ocean side cliff there is beauty in the white foamy waves crashing against the rocks. I think of how I use to naturally gravitate towards positive thinking in any situation. But now it feels like I can naturally find the negative and I hate it. Part of me feels I can blame the medication but the other part is that I'm just so disappointed in myself for allowing myself to get to that point. I don't think its something that in the past few months just happened I feel more like its been due to the waves of life and disappointments in this journey crashing against me over and over again I don't want that. I've had good things the past two years take place. I've also been blessed with so much: Isaac and I are closer, I've made new friends, I have a great job. I need to change my reactions to these current struggles. I don't think its necessarily my thought process I need to change but how I openly respond to it. I need to take every thought captive and surrender it to God. It gets so hard to do sometimes. I compare my struggles and find it unfair and frustrating but in the back of my mind I know God has a plan for me. I know His ways are higher than mine and that in the end I'll look back and not want it any other way. I just pray that god will refresh me over this next week to help me get back to myself.
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