We may have missed our chance

So it appears the medication worked a little faster than we anticipated it would.  The Dr had told me to trigger with the Ovidrel on Friday evening but Friday morning my temperature was in the post ovulation range.  I called the Dr's office and asked what I should do if I should still trigger or start the progesterone supplements early.  She said to still trigger and time the intercourse. 

But what if we missed our chances.  It looks like I had already ovulated and we only had sex the one time during the window......I guess in part its a good thing.  Now my mind wont be so wrapped up with how likely it should be that I get pregnant since we are having two eggs released with three perfectly timed days of intercourse.  Now I'm more thinking...great most likely only the one egg was released and we only had sex the one time AND I didn't put my legs up or wait  30 minutes before standing or all the little tricks everyone tells you to do. 

I suppose in part it's all relative.  I could tell myself people get pregnant every day that don't practice any tricks.  But we women who struggle with infertility know exactly how much of a miracle it is.  We truly realize that from conception to delivery God has to be at work for something so amazing to occur.  If only it would occur when we want it to.

I'll be heading to the Beach on Monday.  I am just so excited to get away from it all.  Stop thinking about fertility stop thinking about conceiving.  All of it and just to let it go.  I would love to enjoy a few drinks while there during this two week wait but I think Isaac would be a opposed to that.  


So I guess now it's all a waiting game....yet again.  I honestly feel like I can't enjoy the now.  My period starts and I wait for cycle day 12 when I can go in and see if the medication is working, then I wait for the timed intercourse, then I wait to see if my period comes and it just starts all over again.  With all this waiting and anticipation it is getting really hard to focus on the actual day.  On how I can make a difference.  What opportunities the entire month has verses just waiting.

If this cycle doesn't work I think I am willing to try 2 more then I'm done.  I know at first we said okay 3 cycles and that's it; but due to the surprise that insurance covered the first one and that my body didn't respond to the medication like it should have we are going to let that slide.  Or maybe that's just my excuse to not admit defeat.  To not be ready to give up on this dream. 

Either way the moment I feel God saying stop.  I will stop.  So until then I will just keep trucking along.  But I'll try not to go so fast that I miss the opportunities that surround me every day.