Adoption is not a fallback plan.

Lately I'm not sure why but I can not get it out of my head.  We have always wanted to adopt and maybe as time grows near for us to decide when to do it I'm realizing how near and dear to my heart this is.  Adoption isn't a "second choice" for us.  It is a choice we know we will be making for our family despite how things play out with our fertility.  But I know that people wont see it that way.  But I do not care.  I can not say the amount of times I've heard oh start and adoption process then you'll get pregnant.  If that were to happen we would still want to go through the adoption. 

Adoption is a beautiful thing.  It is an opportunity to love unconditionally and to help someone in need.  Occasionally I look at other blogs of women who have or are struggling with infertility.  And through one of these blogs I was able to find an adoption site that I am interested in. 

It's called Life time adoption


Isaac and I have talked and decided that we will give ourselves till December and if we are not pregnant by then we will find and agency and fill out an application and sign up in January.  Originally we thought only three treatment cycles and that's it.  But since we met our deductible already for medical expenses our insurance has covered the past two treatment cycles and apparently will until November.  But even though I plan to think positively and believe for the best, this is something in both of our hearts so I want to be prepared for it in the future regardless. 

I want to love all those babies that no one else wants to love.  I want to be a blessing and just let them know they are wanted.  We don't need a newborn.  And actually we always said we would love to adopt a sibling pair in order to keep them together, but I think that would be when we are older, since we are talking most likely about older siblings.  But before that we would love a toddler or younger. 

I still don't have a clue how this treatment cycle left.  I feel nothing.  Normally during the two week wait I can spot every symptom in the book and be like Oh yes there is something.  Nothing feels like that right now for me.  The only things I've noticed is: Still having heartburn, a few slight pulling sensations in my ovary/uterus area when I sneeze or cough.  And slight fluttering or cramping occasionally.  I'm only 10 days past ovulation today.  But that means in just 5 more days I'll be able to get that blood test done.

I haven't decided if I want to take a home pregnancy test before then.  I guess I'll wait and see.