Second Blood test tomorrow. Remaining Hopeful

So I wasn't sure if I was going to write this post or not.  Part of me wanted to wait till tomorrow after my second Beta Test but I decided if I'm really going to let this be a real opening into the experience on this journey to mother hood I need to include it all.  So here goes: 

I was spotting again today off and on.  It's nothing like continued bleeding just when I go to the restroom and wipe.  So nothing insane just very light and honestly nothing I really feel concerned about.  We had sex last night so it's possible that just irritated things a little bit.  Especially since I can spot/bleed after sex sometimes anyways.  I did however take another pregnancy test and it looks almost completely negative.  You have to be really looking for the second line to see it.  I don't know if that is accurate though due to the fact that I took it around 4 pm and I had planned to take it with a 4 hour hold and got as far as two hours and became so thirsty that I drank a 32 oz container of water in about a 30 min period and then just couldn't hold it for the next hour.  So I decided to take the test anyway.  I've tried to do research on if drinking a ton of water right before you take a test can give a false pregnancy test and from what I've read it can.  And I'm praying that is all this is.  I keep saying okay I'll just hold it for four hours again and take another one but the problem is I just can't seem to make it to four hours.  I feel so incredibly thirsty that I HAVE to have water but when I drink the water I am peeing every single hour!  Ugh vicious cycle. I should use the first morning urine anyways. 

I've talked to a few friends who had been spotting as well during pregnancy  and it apparently really is a lot more common than I thought.  I have 3 friends who had it though at different parts of there cycle.  So that made me feel a little better.  Though of course sad they had to go through those thoughts and scares too.

I do however feel very very different in the uterus/ovary area.  I feel a big pulling feeling.  It doesn't hurt, it isn't like cramping or anything I've ever experienced during a natural cycle.  It kind of reminds me of how my ovaries felt the after I took the trigger shot.  It can also be described a little bit like a burning sensation.  Not pain.  I don't want people thinking I'm in pain more just a discomfort that I notice.  But it makes me smile.  It makes me think of my little bean just getting nice and cozy.  Every once in a while I'm hit with a little wave of nausea but I think that is more to do with some drainage I feel I have going on since its getting time for the fall allergy season.  I've also been a little more tired then normal but nothing unbearable.  

I go in tomorrow for my second Beta blood test to make sure everything is growing how it should.  I plan to ask them about the  spotting again then.  I don't think there is much they can do.  I think it's all a matter of taking things easy when I can and not stressing out about it.

Heavenly Father it is so easy to fear that this can be taken away from me but I know that thought is not something I should allow to come into my life.  I know I should not allow the fear to overwhelm me or place doubt that your promises to us will not happen.  You have not given me the spirit of fear but of power love and a sound mind.  I thank you that your hand is on this pregnancy and that you are causing your undeniable strength to take place.  I ask for your peace that surpasses all understanding to guard my heart and mind.  In Jesus name.  ~Amen