Healing and Acceptance

I feel so much better than I had.  I feel like allowing myself those few days to really grieve and really let it out has allowed me to feel so much better.  I am ready to move forward and start towards our family. 

I found joy in pulling out my little baby blanket and knitting it this afternoon.  I am determined now more than ever to press on.  To keep a smile on my face and go forward pressing into the promises that have been given to me.

I feel like the best way to describe how I feel right now completely is acceptance.  I have accepted that this is a journey and it is a tough one and an emotional one.  And one that I will endure.  I want to look back on this and see growth.  I want to pull as much good out of it as possible.  I'm excited to see what the future holds.

For one brief moment I was able to be pregnant to experience that joy.  Even though I lost it and am so disappointed by it when the time comes and I experience it again I do not want to allow myself to to expect the same.  I can not allow this to mar my future.  For my next pregnancy will not be the same as this one.  I will believe hope and pray for victory.